Well today is the day that I have hopped back onto the working out train.  Timothy informed me that there is only 2 1/2 weeks until the Tough Mudder.  OH BOY!!  So I decided I need to get my butt back into better shape.  It was almost a month sense I have done anything physically demanding.  I’m not going to lie, getting started really sucked and I totally didn’t want to was taking my sweet time heading down into the basement but I did it.   So I jumped onto the elliptical and busted out 20 minutes on a demanding course.  While getting my sweat on, I was playing Words with Friends, thank goodness, that means I wasn’t getting board and slowing down.  After that, I started to pump the iron, squats, and crunched my abs.  Surprisingly, I didn’t feel to sore on Tuesday until the afternoon, then I was like “holy cow” lol but a good sore.

On Tuesday, I wasn’t able to break free to the basement due to needing to get some work done last night for today (Wednesday) and I wasn’t going to work out at 11:00 pm when I finally was done with my work.  No Thank You.  But, because I did know that I wouldn’t be able to hit the gym, Dominic and I did go on a nice walk.  We even challenged ourselves with some hills.  So I count the walk has a good work out.

I came across an article that stated when an individual stops working out that your body changes.  I didn’t really  believe this but I really do know.  I started to notice last week that not only were my cloths fitting differently but my body felt differently.  My arms and legs were less toned, by stomach was bloated, gassy (I know, just what you wanted to know), and I had some massive head aches.  Within that week I also wasn’t eating the greatest like I normally do, ice cream, wheat crap, and cheese.  To much in a small time frame.  So, I believe the two mixed together was a horrible idea. HAHA.  So, needless to say I totally believe that it is a GREAT idea to get at least 20 to 30 minutes of some short of physical exercise 3 to 4 days a week to help keep yourself regular in all area’s of the body.

  Tough Mudder 2014

God Bless

Angela

Well, I made it threw my first week on my own with 5 members.  WHOOT WHOOT.  It has been a challenge at times but also a good learning experience.  To be totally honest, I am loving my new job and I am learning so much.  I love my job even more when I get my own computer and can really utilize the resource’s in the office at Thompson Community Center, that will be WONDERFUL.  I love seeing the members interacting with each other and enjoying what I have planned.  Even if it them singing a along/getting involved or doing the simplest thing such has smiling, tapping their foot.  That to me means they are enjoying it!  I have a busy weekend of playing with my sweet little boy and doing some MAJOR cleaning…yes it’s the freak-in weekend! 😀

As we all know, Robbin Williams passed away on Monday by suicide due to deep depression.  Depression is no joke and shouldn’t be taken lightly by others i.e, doctors, family, friends, or the individual who is suffering with depression.  There is nothing to be ashamed about either, depression affects us all at some point of our life.  If its not at this vary moment, it might happen 5, 10, or 20 years from now.  There is nothing wrong with asking for help either, if its with a doctor or seeing a consular or therapist.  Kudos to you for asking for help!!

I am going to be totally honest.  I have gone threw some dark times of my life when battling with depression and sadly I didn’t do anything about it.  But, when I was at Rodgers Memorial Hospital over coming Anorexia nervous and over exercising.  I was educated with the tools to recognize when I was slipping down the hill with the Eating Disorders and exercising.  In addition to those tools, I was also blessed with the tools to be able to identify when I’m depressed and what I should do.  I am proud to say I haven’t had any issue with being depressed since I had a little with post par-tum depression after Dominic’s birth.

When I was malnourished, before I received help at Rogers, at times I would wonder what it would be like to (sad to say) drive off the road.  I Thankfully never, ever tired but the thought was there.

The mind can tricky when there is a chemical imbalance or when malnourished.

Take Care,

Angela

So this week was my first week at my new job!!  It was very exciting but kind of nerve racking at the same time.  Not only did I ran my first class/group on Monday with new clients but I also had to do the planning and prepping without being able to utilize the resources at the facility due to not having the proper access yet or my own computer.  I ran my very first class/group on Monday and I have learned so much from that one day and from the entire week in general.  My second class/group on Wednesday went A LOT better but still a lot of pumps to work out.  But I believe that I am on the right path and until I have a good understanding of how to meet everyone needs and to keep the activities appropriate it’s just a guessing game.  Trail and error to be exact and that is the only way sometimes one will learn.  However, I do need a volunteer like ASAP and I hope hope two come my way like by this up coming Monday.  I know wishful thinking but its worth a shoot.

So getting back to Monday, I worked from 9 am to 7 pm and I didn’t get home until 7:30.  I was driving like a mad women to get home and at least have a 1/2 to spend with Dominic.  While, when I got home Timothy had already tucked Dominic into bed because he was really sleepy and rubbing his eyes like crazy Tim said.  That was the vary first time I didn’t get to tuck my little boy into bed.  That has never happened to me before and I just started crying.  Tim just looked at me like “what in the world is wrong” and I told him exactly what was wrong and he said “it’s okay and “Dominic still loves you”.  That meant so much to me that I started to cry a even more.  Oh the joys of being a women, how we can be so over dramatic and emotional sometimes. lol  When I was in school, I had a class on Monday nights that went from 5 pm to 9/9:30 pm and sometimes I wouldn’t see Dominic but most times I did because he was just a little baby and was’t really on a sleep schedule.  He also  has spent the night with grandparents , we have had babysitters but I have never missed bed time due to work.  It just broke my heart.  During this week not only did I run my own class/group like I said but on top of that I was doing my orientation and attending the other class/group on Tuesday and Thursday.  So, in a nut shell, I had a vary L-O-N-G week but totally worth it.

This quote is so true and sometimes that is all you can do!

Have a wonderful weekend all!!

God Bless

Now that summer has finally arrived, there are many outside activities that I want to take part in i.e hiking, road biking, and so many more.  But then I  remember I’m a mom  😀 .  Don’t get my wrong I LOVE being a mom and I look forward to it every single day but boy it makes it a little harder to do stuff and its tiring lol.  Dominic is such a busy, busy boy and loves to be outside, which is AWESOME!!

Like most moms I have a job outside of my job at home 😉 and that job can be exhausting, but mostly fun.  Most times I find it hard to balance everyday tasks such as house responsibilities, Dominic, exercise, career, family, Church, me time, pets, cooking, flowers,  and I think that is it (I can’t remember any more right now).  Most days I will have it all planned out on what I am doing each day; such as cleaning, when I will exercise, what I’m making for dinner, and getting Charlie (my dog) on a walk.  All that stuff is planned around my work schedule and Tim/Dominic.  Most times this all happens before Dominic wakes up in the morning but I great deal of it happens after he goes to bed.  That is the thing about balance, you think you have it all planned out and it’s going to work.  BUT stuff pops up throughout the day and the plan doesn’t goes has you’ve planned and hoped.  Which can be very irritating, but you do your best and get done what needs to be done in that moment and move onto the next.

My biggest struggle is taking “me time”, whenever I do, which isn’t often I feel so bad.  I always feel like I should be spending time with my family or Dominic or I should be doing some stuff around the house.  So when I do have “me time” I don’t really enjoy it at all due to those feelings.  Silly I know.  I am hoping to improve on that area, someday.  Why is it that one always feels so bad when they take “me time”? Please respond to this question, I would like hear some reasons. Thank You in advance.

Take Care

Angela

Hi everyone,

I am a little behind but hey that is life right?

This past weekend was 4th of July and I had a BLAST.  I was blessed to spend a lot of time with Dominic and family.  Friday we went to the beach with family, had a cookout their, and then had another cookout later that night.  Then, on Saturday we relaxed, which means me mostly chasing Dominic around outside :D, and Sunday we spent some time with my Dad.  Visiting my Dad is always challenge with Dominic.  He never stops moving.  He just keeps running, and running, and running!  He runs around the living room, runs up and down the hallway, and then he tries to bust into other patients rooms.  What a little stinker. But in the end we all had a fun time!

So, on Friday, I had one of my biggest challenges and it did not dawn on me until Saturday morning.  Friday I wore a bikini swim suit!  And I haven’t wore one since I found out I was pregnant with Dominic, so two Junes ago.  On Friday, I thought I looked pretty good, I do however have lots of stretch marks on my stomach, hips, and inner thighs BUT I look at them as my tiger strips.  Yes, some days I hate them but in the some mind I earned them.  Dominic is well worth it.

Everyday brings a new challenge, it may be small or it may may be big.  Another challenge for that weekend was not eating the greatest.  Now that is full on summertime, there are a lot of cook outs and lets be honest I good cook out involves brats, hot dogs, chicken, hamburgers, chips and some kind of cold salad or two.  Don’t get me wrong there are some healthy food out of that list, protein for sure!  😀   But who’s to say you can’t have a hand full of chips and maybe a hamburger and a hot dog?  If your hungry, your hungry, and it’s summer time enjoy it.  Sometimes I think we put to much pressure on our shelves to make sure we always get very clean and if you going to “cheat”, only a little.  Remember friends, you only live once and as long as you balance everything out during the week i.e working out, sleeping, mental rest, and all that good stuff then its okay.  All I know when I am old and looking back at my life, I want to know that I lived free of food, free of guilt, and most importantly free of an eating disorder.

Happy Friday!!

As I was sitting on the couch last night, I was thinking about how I didn’t do much for exercise and haven’t done the 30 Day Ab Challenge that I started in the beginning of the month.  I sadly, sustained an injuring while doing the ab challenge and haven’t been able to do it for a few days.  While I was sitting their feeling sorry for myself, all the negative thoughts and body thoughts started flooding my mind.  Then, I heard a little boy laughing.  When I looked at Dominic, he was smiling from ear to ear at me.  Right then, I forgot about everything I was currently thinking about and said to myself, “You look great, everything happens for a reason, and Dominic love’s you no matter what.”  Then, that little boy climbed onto the couch and came running to me and gave me the biggest hug and started laughing.  He was so full of energy last night, it was CRAZY!!  At one point he was just running laps from one end of the house to the door.  There is a step before the door and he just flew over that step and landed on his tummy.  It was so funny, it looked like he was trying to fly like superman.  He looked up at me and just started laughing and did it again.  I am very Thankful and grateful that God has blessed Tim and I with this little boy and I make sure I Thank Him every single day and hope he blesses up with more! 😉

I constantly remind myself that working out should and needs to be fun and exciting!  So with that being said, does anyone want to do Pole Dancing with me?  It’s a good workout for the body but it’s sexy and very fun!  From what I have heard, I haven’t done it yet.  It’s on my bucket list!

God Bless and Happy Friday

I hope everyone had a wonderful week and was able to enjoy the nice, warm, and sunny weather.

This weekend was one of the toughest weekends I have had in a long time.  My body image sucked this weekend.  I was constantly worrying about how my body looked, what I was eating, and feeling bad kind after what I had eaten.  This is so ANNOYING!!  I just want to not worry, I want to be able to enjoy life, and know that I look great no matter what!

It all started this weekend when I work up Saturday morning and my left foot was killing me.  I think it was because I wore sandals Friday night to the T-Rats game. or just the sandals in general aren’t good.  This pain was along the outer side of my foot, up to my ankle bone, my shine and then back down to parts of the bottom.  I quickly Google and I believe I had/have planter fasciitis.  So, began doing the suggested stretches and elevated my foot whenever I could.  So, far today, it feel GREAT and I hope it stays this way.

That hard part was not exercising, I still took Dominic and Charlie on a 2-3 mile walk Saturday and Sunday but normally on the weekend is when I do my long runs.  I am preparing for the Tough Mudder and the Fox Cities Half Marathon in September (whoot whoot).  So, of course all the negative body image thoughts and just negative thoughts in general are/were flooding my mind.  The makes me sad, so mad and just pisses my right off.  I basically had to self talk myself into not going on a run or do any form of physical exercise, with the reason of possibly hurting/damaging my foot even more.  But man it was so tough and exhausting to convince myself.

So, this morning on Pinterest I searched body image and found some pretty amazing quotes, pictures, and videos that I am going to look at everyday to help myself get of this body image problem.  Sadly, there are probably millions of girls/women who are experiencing this same problem due to our crazy society.

My over all goal is to be able to love my body no body how it looks and to be healthy mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  To accomplish this rather large goal it will be tough but I am extremely ready for the challenge and change.

Wednesday Night, I finally crashed early. Timothy captured this photo and pointed out to me that its still light out. 🙂

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life!  Before I explain that day, I just want to say I am very blessed.  God has blessed me with the ability to work part time right now and enjoy much needed time with my little boy.  I am very thankful for this time now that I have noticed he is becoming such a big boy and soon will not want to snuggle with me as much.  Hopefully not for a vary long time lol.  Getting back to yesterday, as some of you know I went to school to be an Occupational Therapy Assistant and just recently (last Friday) took my boards to become certified.  That was the LONGEST test of my life, 200 questions, paragraph length, and you only have 4 hours to complete this test.  I am proud to say it only took my 3 1/2 hours and I only knotted off one 😀  After the test I felt like I failed and didn’t know as much as I should have but I gave it my best.  Yesterday was the day we (many other test takers) would find out if we passed or failed.  I was up at 5 am yesterday and checked the NBCOT website multiple times and it was around 10 am when they posted “can’t log in due to scores being posted”.  LONGEST hour of my life waiting until the posted at 11 am.  I PASSED, I don’t know by how much BUT I did it!  Unfortunately, I could crack open a can of beer to celebrate lol, I have to be to work at noon.

That night was one of the best nights I have had.  I got home work around 5 pm.  We had some visitors stop over for a chat, dinner, and then we went on a family walk.  It was such a wonderful evening for a walk, bull shitting with Tim, and watching Dominic be so observant.  When we returned home it was way past Dominic’s bed time but well worth it.  He ate a snack and was read some books and while that was going on, I was sitting on the couch just watching him and Timothy.  They played peak-a-boo, they were giggling, and Dominic was “feeding” Timothy.  As I watched, I began thinking about how blessed I am to have those to boys in my life, and how blessed I am that God has given me a second chance in life 3 years ago when I chose to recover from and Eating Disorder.  All the thoughts about getting exercise in, or what I ate, or how I look doesn’t matter anymore.  What matters is my family, watching Dominic grow, and demonstrating to him healthy self love.

Dominic on our walk. “Hey ladies”

Here is how I decided to begin blogging.  A friend of mine, who just had a cute little baby boy at the end of February began blogging shortly after about life has a mom and a wife.  I started reading her blogs and they were/are amazing!  How awesome for her to share her story.   As the night went on I kept thinking about her blogs and how that would be awesome to blog about my recovery from an eating disorder.  As I was thinking about it I started thinking about all reason why I shouldn’t.

First off I am not the greatest writer or speller and I do sometimes get embarrassed by it lol  but hey I tried.  Secondly, I didn’t want to offend Tim, other family member, or friends by anything I write in a post.  Thirdly, I didn’t and still don’t wont people to pity me or think that is what I’m looking for by starting this blog.  The next day came, and I was like, “you know what, if people can’t handle by story and don’t like it, well then they don’t need to read it.  It’s their choice and if people give me pity, Well, Thanks but no Thanks”.

With this blog I  obviously want to share my story and journey but also to aspire others to share their story too!  The stories do not need to be about eating disorders they can be about anything.  I also want to give others hope about recovery and that it can be achieved.  Even if there are obstacles and challenges along the way.  That is what life is about and they can be conquered.   I face challenges almost daily from what I eat, to what I wear, to what I’m thinking/feelings.  They may not be visible to a person but they are their.  The way I look at those challenges as if  they are a huge nasty spider that needs to be smashed!  If you didn’t know, I HATE spiders with a passion!! I come up with an action plan, implement the plan, and achieve my goal of smashing them down.  It may take time but no matter how long it takes to smash those challenges, you did it!!!

Boom!!!

I want to give a big shout out to Alexandria Hoeft for inspiring me to create this blog!!