Our society is something viscous.  I have read, watched, and listened on how our society rips people apart but also adapts to the needs.  For example, we push for fit, skinny, eating healthy but we make items, food, and clothing for obese individuals which makes their life style they are currently living easier.  I feel extremely horrible for people on both sides of this spectrum, you are criticized for not being fit or for being too  fit, healthy, or skinny and then on the opposite side you are once again being criticized for being obese but then your current life style is becoming easier to live.  We are all being miss lead and giving TONS of different information on how we are suppose to live our life, what to do, and how to do it.

My belief is if you are trying that is all that matters.  Not what society is saying or the people around you.  If you are trying to maintain a healthy life style of working out 30 minutes a day or a couple of days a week and eating the serving size of veggies, fruits, grains, and proteins that is recommended to have then you are on the right track. WHOOT WHOOT

Please do not let our society run your life or fill you head with different information, which sometimes can be misleading.  Get the information you are looking for from your doctor or see a nutritionist.  Do not use the internet PLEASE.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a victim of this and still to this day find myself slipping into “What society thinks” and/or find myself looking at people, actress, fitness models, or just some women walking and I began to wish I had their whatever, or want to change myself to have what that person has. In that moment I say to myself, who cares what society thinks!  As long as I am happy that is what matters the most!

God Bless

Before i continue with the post, I just want to give a big Thank You to the friends and family who took time out of your day to read my first post.  It has brought joy to my day knowing that I have given some insight and an understanding on how an eating disorder can destroy someone’s life and their potentially their future.  But like all challenges in life, one can over come the mental illness and achieve recovery with the support from God, family, and friends.

I am going to be totally honest, last week and this week so far have been tough for me.  Now, that I have reached my goal of losing my baby weight and tightening up, I now, need to even everything out.  That would mean eating habits, food, and working out.  I have began to slightly stress out about making sure I only eat certain things, like no carbs, and that I do some short of physical activity every day.  After, looking at myself in the mirror over the weekend, I don’t like how skinny I look.  So, I have taken matters into my own hands and I am changing the eating habits to what a person who is physically active should consume in a day.  Even though it has been tough to change that mind site of “dieting” or eating healthy ( a little to healthy), I am proud to say I am making that change.

Sadly with change there are always fear of the unknown or fears of what will happen once your make that change.  The fear of making that positive, healthy change for me is that i will gain all the baby weight back.  I know its a silly fear, but I am being honest.  Also, for me I have fears if I don’t make those positive, healthy changes that I will miss out on the important events of life, such as, more children, family get together, camping, hiking, zoo’s, runs, and so many mores.

I have found a blog called The Nourished Life and the author wrote a post called “How I Stopped Hating My Body”.  I have read this post and it has helped me to start accepting my body again and to love my body.  I suggest, others should read this post if your having a hard time accepting your body.

😀

Here is the link 😀  http://www.livingthenourishedlife.com/2013/09/how-i-stopped-hating-my-body

Have a wonderful week and enjoy Memorial weekend.  Safe travels to all!

Hello there!!  Before you being reading the post below, I just want to explain what this blog is about.  It is about my journey in life as a mom, wife, and a women with an Eating Disorder.  I feel that God has told me to share my story about my life journey and show that recovery from an Eating Disorder can be achieved and  one can still live a healthy life style.  Writing a blog is new to me and I am learning as I go and it is also hard for me to write about my life.  Also, I am not the greatest speller in the world so please forgive me, I will try my best!  😀

P.S: Please feel free to skip over parts if you would like, there is a lot there lol!

Before it all in began i.e family, occupation, and belief I came from a family of four.  Like all families my family had some flaws.  My parents are older, my brother and I are 12 years apart, and we lived by the fair grounds.  My parents are pretty awesome individuals but they both had some addiction problems and along with some problems in their marriage.  They are/were addicted to anything horrible by any means but there are not the greatest.  One was addicted to alcohol and the other is addicted to those darn cigarettes.  So in a short, quick story, sometimes life was tough when growing up.

As soon as I graduated high school I moved in with my boyfriend, now husband, and his sister and attended college in the big town of Appleton.  While attending school my dad became sick with something awful, Viral/Bacterial Meningitis, which left him with some pretty bad defects.  In 2014 he has come along way in his road of recovery and I feel blessed everyday that he is still here with me and can watch my son grow.

September 2010

After my dad’s horrible sickness, Tim and I got married in September 2010 but best time of my life and also the lowest time of my life. I had so much going on my life at that time that I felt I was having hard time controlling, I was stressed, and I felt fat.  So, I good way to release stress, feel control, and also loose some weight I began working out and watching what I eat.  I also started weighing myself daily and sadly that turned into weighing myself multiple times in a day.  Unfortunately by my wedding in September the dieting and working out turned into a obsession and was slowly starting to take over my life.

When October came and we went to Hawaii for our honey moon I was so concerned with not being able to workout or eat right that I really didn’t enjoy all of the honey moon sadly.  A newly married couple normally are busy in bed if you now what I mean 😉  and I was the opposite at the time and still to this day i feel horrible for Tim.

When December came I had reached the lowest weight I ever been and never want to be at again.  I was 98 pounds and slowly reaching death.  The day after Christmas I had to go to the ER, I had a temp of 103 degrees and could barley function.  I received an IE and was told I have a problem and need to see my family doctor ASAP.  So, after that appointment and I schedule to see my doctor, that is when he diagnosed me with an eating disorder known as Anorexia Nervous and over exercising.  This is when my journey to recovery began and he helped me receive some help.  I was on the waiting list to attend Rogers Memorial Hospital in Oconomowoc for in paint treatment.  I will tell you right now that was one of the hardest day’s of my life thus far.  I had to stay in a lock down unit with lots of rules and I had to be away from Timothy.

I started treatment right away and I had lab work done, physical done, meal planning, done and then I had to meet with the Psychologist.  And boy was she a blunt person and told me how it was.  She straight out told me that I was killing my body, all my organs were shutting down and I was not going to be able to have any children.  When I was told I couldn’t have children, man that is when the light bulb came on and I really pushed myself to express feelings and make it to recovery.  I didn’t want to be a person that came back multiple times and wasn’t making any gains and their were some people their like that some young, some older, mothers, and men.  I stayed on the unit for a few weeks and then once I reached that weight that my team wanted me to reach I was discharged and start outpatient care.  My wonderful Aunt and Uncle opened their home to me and I was able to continue therapy because of them.

After that experience, I was discharged, I think in the Spring time and I was SO HAPPY to see Tim and my fur babies!!  I cried!

Dominic William Stearns February 18th

I still had to attend some therapy and see a nutritionist and slowly the time, frequency, and duration of the appointment become shorter and t hen ended.  Whoot Whoot.  They end around June 2012 and Timothy and I were surprised with some awesome news, I was pregnant!!  I felt and still feel that I had proven my previous Psychologist wrong!!  Prior to my pregnancy and during my pregnancy I had no problems with over exercising or eating I was on the right path still!!  Almost my entire pregnancy I was attending college again 😀  This time I was getting my associated degree in Occupational Therapy, one of the toughest programs a the teach and boy was it but I am proud to say I only took 2 weeks off when I had Dominic and still have to attend a class via Skype and I graduated in December 2013!!  Whoot Whoot.

God Bless!!