I needed some time to feel all the feelings that come around and on my dad’s birthday. His birthday is December 2nd and every year he is gone it seems to be getting harder and harder for me to handle. I don’t really believe I am done grieving and I don’t know if I’ll ever be “done”. Every new year I think of him and wish he was here and anything new that the kiddos do I wish he was here. Every holiday celebration, every child’s birthday I wish he was here.
I miss his smile, I miss his laugh, I miss his big bear hugs, and I miss his nonjudgemental big heart. My dad was the kindness man you would every meet and he would do anything to help a person out. He would have never said any of the mean cold hearted things my mother has said to me about myself, children, or my husband. He told me about this time he and my uncle went down to a local bar thats on the river and confronted some out of town drug dealers that were giving my cousin and her friends a hard time. My uncle and dad got into a fist fight with these guys and in the end the guys ended up floating down river to the boat landing. The never spoke to my cousin or her friends again, according to my dad that is. My dad was so proud of that story and would tell me whenever he would remember. You have to understand my dad was a 5ft 6in, 300 pound man and being able to do that when your 50 is pretty awesome. I think a few beers helped boost his confidence hahaha.