This last couple of years have been tough to be a daughter.  I know that sounds odd but it’s true.  My mother is in a rough chapter of life currently and its all because of herself.  Over the last two years has been struggling with depression (not diagnosed by professionals) but she has admitted it but she chooses to not receive help.  I believe the reason she chooses not to is because she likes all the attention she gets from family and friends.  My mother loves a good pity party big or small.

She has chosen to live her life in a filthy, dirty, and uncleaned apartment.  My sister in law and I have cleaned her small two bedroom apartment two times before when it gotten this horrible and unlivable.  We have offered to help her and have given her resources to help her maintain a clean apartment.  It is the most flustering thing to experience and to watch a love one self sabotage them-self and then blame everyone else for whats happening to her.

It has become worse again and this weekend I was told my brother and his wife had gotten a second visits from the chief of police regarding my mother and her well being. The post office had requested a wellness check to be done on my mother AGAIN.  I am very grateful that the post master is concerned about my mother and is thinking about her well being.  But do you think my mother would be touched they are concerned about her?  Nope she was PISSED!!  You would also think she would get her act together knowing the chief of police may be doing a actual wellness check on her, NOPE.

The reason I am sharing this is because stress caused by a loved one can affect recovery.  If its recovering from a eating disorder, drugs, alcohol, and so on.  I have been having distorted thoughts about  my body, how I should be eating or shouldn’t be eating, and wanting to increase my workouts by working out twice a day.  I haven’t participated in any of those thoughts and started talking to Timothy right away about what I’m feeling.  I’m going to be completing honest, I have fallen down the “hate my body hole”  This week I’m going to be working on climbing out of that hole and getting my head back on straight.  I’m going to share with you guys all the tools and resources I have used.

God Bless;

Angela