What have I put off doing and why? Well, the answer is real simple I guess. I have been putting off self care for myself. Self care for many is something that happens every day, once a week, once a month, every couple of months, or never and can include many different activities either inside the home or outside of the home. For me its mostly every couple of months when I gather the balls to actually do something by myself without my husband but when I do, mom guilt is tagging along for the ride. In the end mom guilt wins and I end up cutting back on doing any form of self care. Mom guilt for me is so much more then feeling bad about not spending the extra time with my children but instead its me making lists of all the things I could be doing with them from watching a movie with them to doing some sort of extra school related activity that could help that child or children advance in school. I also think about how I work and hour after they get done with school and we rush home to make dinner and they ask me all sorts of questions. The questions mostly being about their chance of playing video games with friends online or me asking them if they had finished their homework. I then become consumed in the dinner rush hour, then baths, animal chores, and possibly doing some chore around the house that has been neglected for sometime. Finally when I have a chance to sit down its phone time for me. I like to shut off my brain and scroll of social media for a few minutes which turns into a half hour to a hour. That time is lost and I’ll never get it back which really saddens me and I have come up with countless of times on how I will reduce my phone usage and focus my time on other things. I have veered off the topic slightly here but it defiantly all goes together.
My Journey in Life with Ed 